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Friday, August 31st 2007

4:11 PM

Last Day

Hi guys

Its my last day at my first job. I can truly say that the feelings are so so mixed. On the one hand, I feel cheated. I felt like I gave my all on this job. Ok, so maybe I couldn't always be where everyone was. Yes, I fell sick in the middle and ended up in the hospital. But on the other hand, I came back even when I was on MC. I came in at regular times on regular days and pushed myself beyond what I felt I could do. On the last month of my MC, I came back every single working day. I even stayed late on some days. I pushed myself so hard that people thought I was insane. And after that, no matter how sick I felt, I stayed in the office to work. I tried to do my best. And yet, it seems like my best was just not good enough. I've realized how dangerous it is to get attached to the people at work. You get lulled into a false sense of security and by the time you wake up, its just too late. Do you get rid of people cos they had something happen to them that they can't control? Well here they do. The world is cruel.

And yet, its the start of a whole new adventure for me. Time to put the past behind and look forward to what the future can give. Maybe its time for me to start on a fresh new page. I really don't know what the future holds. All I can do is to take things 1 day at a time. I don't even know what company I wanna go to. I'm just going for all the interviews as they come. Hopefully God will lead again. Cos my leading really does suck. But I do have a few companies that interest me. Hopefully they will be the right ones. I find myself at the crossroads again. With so many ways to go. I hope the path I choose will be paved for me. Somehow.

I am writing for the ACTS musical. How funny that a chance to serve comes at a time like this. How odd that the musical deals with young adults and their problems being out in the world today. How true the story seems to me. How real the emotions are. I find the chance to express myself through music and song once again and I am grateful for that. Without which, my one outlet would be lost. I almost thought it was. I find the strength to pick myself up knowing that in the end, God's will always prevails. Even though we may not see it the way He does. I leave you with lyrics from a song I like.

"Oh rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistakes.
He knoweth the end of each path that I take
For when I am tried and purified
I shall come forth as gold."
7 Message(s).

Posted by Pam Porter:

Joanne,

I am really sorry to hear about the loss of your job. I do believe what you said in your last entry about God's will, and it prevailing. It sounds to me like you have been working too hard at the job, and that was not good for your health. We will be praying for you!

Alex also takes methadone and Lyrica (300mg 3 times a day) and like you said, it is very expensive! We just changed insurance, and as of yet, they are not covering it. Ouch! But, I do think that it works well for Alex, and it is necessary.

Hope that you have a wonderful weekend, and I will praying for you!

Pam Porter
Cumming, HAo:):P
Sunday, September 2nd 2007 @ 1:12 AM

Posted by jacq:

hey joanne;)

sorry to hear bout your job: (
but im sure God has other plans for you.
im looking forward to the dec musical!
you're definitely a blessing to those around you!

and i love that song too.
it's so true, God makes no mistakes.
Friday, September 7th 2007 @ 11:24 PM

Posted by Kevyn:

Hi Joanne,

Came across your site and got started reading. Never knew so many complications were haunting you all this while. You came across as a cheerful girl and you should keep it that way.

In our profession, especially in a consultancy, it takes a lot for the consultant to face the clients and to 'run' quickly for the turnaround that the job requires. As the budgets are not high, the team runs mostly very lean and hence consultants are required to pull their weight to make it work.

Perhaps its a good thing that you took off, for I think it takes a toll on one's health to take the high stress level, even for a person like me.

Word said, make no mistake it saying that the team in FH cared for you as a team-member and as a friend. Do not at one moment doubt that concern that was extended.

Some shouldered additional work, others sheltered you from extreme levels of stress. Mostly, an apathy towards you and your health conditions.

Lets be grateful about things. When one chapter ends, its the beginning of another. I'm sure you'll find a job that will put you in your element.

Furhter, there are better things in life then just work. You have got great friends and family surrounding you. Smile as always.

Best wishes.
Kev
Monday, September 10th 2007 @ 12:19 PM

Posted by Kevyn Eng:

Erm.. sorry, the line "Word said, make no mistake it saying that the team in FH cared for you as a team-member and as a friend. Do not at one moment doubt that concern that was extended. " should read

"Word said, make no mistake it saying that the team in FH cared for you as a team-member and as a friend. Do not at one moment doubt the concern that was extended.";)
Monday, September 10th 2007 @ 12:26 PM

Posted by Kevyn Eng:

Joanne!! Sorry, it must be the monday morning. =p. I spotted another mistake.. hahahaa..

"Some shouldered additional work, others sheltered you from extreme levels of stress. Mostly, an apathy towards you and your health conditions."

should read

"Some shouldered additional work, others sheltered you from extreme levels of stress. Mostly, empathy towards you and your health conditions."
Monday, September 10th 2007 @ 1:45 PM

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Thursday, April 10th 2008 @ 11:13 AM

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